I swear to god, this new dick really is gorgeous. I thought it was nice when I got it, but it’s like I notice more color and more little details in the pour every time I use it.

These colors are just so good and pop so well, I gotta figure out some other setting to photograph it in that’d show it off better than that dang black shelf

s/o to cis women/nb ppl in the tf fandom (& others) for reminding me every day that I’m a fetish object that only exists to be consumed by other people to the point where I can’t even touch myself, 10/10, best fandoms, kys.

masturbation injuries are the top most stupid, ever

“hey nick why you walkin so stiff“ because I’m elderly and close to death and made the mistake of getting off

Tried the new dick out yesterday (with a couple others) and I ended up going too rough and then also somehow strained every muscle around my upper thighs? How. What the fuck is this. Am I eighty-fucking-five years old, can’t fuck my own self in the god-damn ass without somehow messing up my legs for the next two days. Can’t bend down or stand up without remembering my legs are super toned except for the weakass muscles that do those 2 important things, what the fuck is this

Here he is!! I ended up taking a lot of photos of my new frisky-beast toy because damn did he come out pretty. It’s a small cybersaur in medium firmness, plus the “overload“ option.

I
haven’t gotten to try it out yet, but I’ve been excited about this
model since I saw it as a user-submitted model on the forums. I love it. Robot dick, ridges, and god-damn studs on top of that! Beautiful.

There was a bit of a mix-up that led to a longer-than-average wait on this one, but their customer service was lovely through the whole thing, and they even shipped him with this surprise blue brood egg because of it. The only question left is what relationship that blue egg is to him, but maybe some things are best left alone.

I did a little lineup of the collection so far, I think this one rounds it all out beautifully. Thanks FB!!

I finally changed my url, but is this truly better

I am a mature, responsible adult, and this is what I do with my responsible adult paychecks.

gonna follow my heart and work on trans guy porn for fandom bullshit but

there’s a 99.99% chance it’s gonna go completely ignored but I’m still stupidly paranoid about this 0.01% chance that all the gross-ass cis girls and nb people will think this is a rad idea to carry all their fucking flat-out vomit-inducing fetishization into the actual humanized porn, and I

(✿ʘ‿ʘ)

[trashes entire desk] I???? free me from this gay hell

PUT NSFW HEADCANONS IN MY ASK