mechafricker:

I hope anyone who’s become familiar with my range of sexual feelings appreciates how my two major settings are apparently 1.) unsettlingly devotional sub or 2.) cock berzerker.

I’m trying to mentally put these together. I wonder what it means.

I think it means that the first dom to ensnare my tender heart will have secured themselves with one of the single most fearsome warriors to fight for them in the Great Dick Wars

honestly I don’t even know how the 2 people I haven’t talked to will even react to me being there, I don’t even know what kind of people they ARE, all I know is that tomorrow I am going to have a room in a dilapidated modular home that only kind of has walls via a guy with a “don’t tread on me“ sticker on his truck, and if one of those other two chucklefucks thinks they are even SLIGHTLY allowed to question any horrific sounds from the room by the kitchen then they will only have their own asses to blame if I beat them to death with a goddamn dragon dick

so I just found a new place to stay after 2 weeks of uncertainty that was already overlapping with 2-3 weeks of goddamn pre-existing multiple-all-nighter homework/projects/etc for school and a buncha other shits and hoo boy, maybe I am not the most coherent right now, but fucking believe you me my first action as a new resident of this broken-down house full of absolute strangers right after setting up my shit is gonna be fucking the absolute hell out of myself with a robot dick, I deserve that and so much more I fucking TELL. YOU. WHAT.

[starts thinkin bout toys again] yeah I guess I haven’t felt like using any for a while, but I’m glad that I’ve at least got a good, rounded collection that doesn’t need anything else in it
[suddenly realizes I’m scrolling through fb’s goddamn inventory] wait nO

I feel so guilty every time a post listing bad shit about bad dragon goes around, because on the surface I’m like “YEAH GOOD POINT, THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO,“ but also I feel like I can’t dislike them and be completely 100% sincere because that xenogon is absolutely bar-none the best thing I have ever shoved in me

frisky-beast:

The Electrofox has quite the reputation among the residents of Terrabite. These lithe Beasts are cunning and quick, with lightning fast reflexes matched only by their wit. “Swift as an Electrofox” is a common phrase on this mechanical world, used to describe something of particularly remarkable speed. “Like an Electrofox in heat” accurately depicts something with unstoppable drive, in reference to their seemingly endless stamina. Sleek, sophisticated and clever without equal, the Electrofox has rightfully earned its place as a symbol of both intelligence and beauty. Those who have had the fortune of finding companionship with one of these creatures are undoubtedly familiar their amorous and ‘shocking’ displays. Reserved just for those they fancy the most, the current along an Electrofox’s body is said to elicit endless pleasure, and often arcs in bright blue and yellow from their springy antennae. When coupled with such an enthusiastic drive, this combination is sure to make for one ‘stimulating’ experience!

 Designed by Video and Theropod, this unique
mechanical canine is meant to be a sleek companion with the perfect
knot! A thick, upturned shaft is patterned with just the right amount of
texture, eventually leading to a perky swell that easily pops into
place! This toy comes with two unique Specialty colors all its own – Livewire Plus and Minus! Livewire Plus is a
vivid, eye-catching UV yellow and GITD marble over a handsome silver
and black base. Livewire Minus is an equally sharp UV blue and GITD blue
marble over the same high-contrast base. Both colors shine bright in
the darkness!

We extend a special ‘Thank you’ to guest artist Schandbringer for providing such wonderful artwork!

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*Sidenote – The Beasts are still away for the convention weekend, and will be uploading another wave of these lovely creatures when we return to the shop! We apologize for the smaller than usual drop!