I feel like any attempts at justifying that specific color request I sent in on the robot dick is gonna have the exact opposite effect from convincing people I don’t very specifically want to fuck this exact robot, so I’m not even gonna try

but whoever read the request at FB emailed me back because he’s one of their top favorite mtmte characters and they were excited to give it a shot, so I guess it was a lucky choice? I’m assuming that if you’re getting paid money to make a dick colored after your favorite character you’re gonna give it your all

what’s the biggest dingle u can fit in ur butt

if we’re going circumference-at-any-point, I’d say the medium xenogon. 

if we’re going length alone, I got a new average-width thing a while ago that I got in like 10 inches. I didn’t think that was gonna happen and I remember mentally giving myself a thumbs-up

I’m gonna assume I couldn’t get anything xenogon-grade in that far, but I guess anything’s possible if you have heart and believe in yourself

so when you get the overlord dick in the mail, after every use, will you or won’t you tenderly kiss your gigatron figure

I told two entire people about what color instructions I settled for giving FB, this is not a very anonymous anon

But anyway, I was thinking of not acknowledging him and/or silently draping a cloth over him in his place on the shelf, but now you’ve got me re-thinking that. Like, maybe I’m not super invested in the character, but that DOES seem pretty cold. Almost outright rude. I mean, I don’t feel like any gratitude is owed, but I also feel like complete ingratitude just isn’t in my nature.

So now I think that, when I finish and put everything back in its place, I’ll probably try and give him some kind of face when I un-drape him. Like that one specific face you do when you’re out doing something and you see a coworker or someone who’s in one of your classes, you lift your eyebrows a little and kinda stretch your mouth like “I guess it would be rude to make eye contact with you and pretend I don’t recognize you, boy we sure are both shopping for groceries huh.” I feel like that’s sufficient, especially given that this is an alternate-universe version of the guy anyways.

being involuntarily animistic towards every single object is a tough life, man